In 5 days, the Boston Marathon will commence.
A race that every runner knows about. A race that even the non-runner knows about.
I’ve been thinking of Boston a lot lately.
Maybe it’s because it seems like everyone is asking me if I’m running this year.
“Everyone” meaning all of my patients who remembered me running two years ago or people who I just meet and find out I’m a runner. When you live an hour away from Boston, everyone and their brother knows about Marathon Monday.
If I had a dollar for every time I’ve been asked in the past month, I would be a freakin’ millionaire.
Of course, the majority of the people asking me are not runners and have no idea that you need to qualify, run with a charity or a get a bib from a marathon sponsor (like I did from Stonyfield).
There’s also the question – “Have you ever run Boston?”
Simple question with a very complicated answer. Usually I answer with “yes but no” and then rehash all the ugly details.
A friend told me I should just say yes because I did train for it and I did cross the starting line. I even have a finisher’s medal. Read THIS story if you are wondering how that happened.
But, to me, I did not run Boston.
Maybe I’m thinking so much of Boston because my Sugarloaf Marathon training was cut short last month. My whole goal for training for Sugarloaf this year was to BQ so I could run in 2018. Training was going really, really well and I was allowing myself to think that I might have a viable shot at a BQ.
Well, Sugarloaf is not happening this year. In fact, I’ve been doing some soul searching trying to determine if I even want to try to run a marathon again.
It’s ironic that I am now contemplating if I have another marathon in me. Last year at this time, I was in the same place although I was not injured at the time. While I have forgiven myself for what happened, I still have these thoughts on Boston.
It’s definitely a love/hate relationship between the marathon and I. The only reason that I would even think of doing a marathon again would be to make it to Boston.
I love the vibe of Boston. After experiencing it all two years ago, I want it again. If you have ever been, you know the whole weekend leading up to the race is electric. The expo. The history. The symbolism.
When you get to the Athlete’s Village, the electricity continues. And all along the course, it’s nothing but one big party.
But I don’t really love the marathon distance. I love the training but not the actual race. In fact, I haven’t had a really good experience with the race part.
As for my body, can it handle the distance and or the speed? Obviously I don’t have a great track record with marathon training.
Last year when my social feeds started filling up with non-stop pictures and updates from the marathon weekend, I had to take a break from it all. I was happy for all of my friends who were there but it all just made me very sad. I was extremely jealous and angry. I wanted to be there again so badly.
This year, I’m not jealous. Ok, I am jealous. But definitely NOT angry. This wasn’t my year. I’ll be truly happy tracking all of my friends running and glued to the TV watching while I’m at work…or at least trying to work.
As for next year, I can’t say it will be my year either. My window of qualifying for 2018 is short. There’s not that many races around here before September. And there’s also the status of my pre-stress fracture injury. I’m not sure when I’ll be back to running yet. Maybe it’ll be in 2 weeks. Maybe it’ll be in 2 months.
My heart was broken at Boston but it had nothing to do with Heartbreak Hill. I still feel like I need to go back to have closure. To make it right. To finish what I started.
I’m not giving up on my BQ dream just yet.
Have you run Boston?
Do you think I’m nuts for still wanting to go back?