The Double Standard

So I’ve got a little bit of rant today that I need to get out.

Back in July, I had a brief mention in an article about Fit Moms in the Wall Street Journal. Click HERE is you want to read the full story.

I thought the article was great and was honored to be a small part of it. The big problem I had with the story was the way Drea (the main focus of the article) was portrayed. It made her sound as if all she did was workout all day. When in fact, the only actual workout for HER was an early morning run before her kids woke up. The other workouts were part of her personal training and Pilates business with clients. The commenters had a field day. The majority of the comments were negative. Very negative. Most were chastising a woman for exercising and making it a priority to fit it in whenever she could.

Last week, Drea sent me a comment that the WSJ had just run a story similar to the one we were involved with except it focused on a man. Click HERE for the full story. He’s a business man with a wife and two kids who also trains for numerous triathalons and a marathon each year.  His whole life revolves around training. Not surprisingly, the comments were all positive with an ‘Thatta boy!’ attitude. No mention of, “Who’s taking care of the kids while he’s out training?” or “Must be nice to have a housekeeper/nanny!”

I can’t say I’m entirely shocked. While, yes, I think this man does deserve a “Thatta boy!” for training and competing. That’s no small feat. The problem I have is that even though it’s 2012 on the calendar, we are still living in a world where boys rule the roost. However, I don’t think we can put all the blame on the male gender. The crazy thing that’s holding us back is our own gender. It’s women versus women. Men have very little to do with it. A large percentage of the negative comments on the first article came from women. We are the harshest judges and are ready to tear anyone apart. We have so much power. Imagine what we could do if we supported each other? It’s mind blowing. Think of that the next time a negative thought or word is about to come out of your mouth about a woman. I know I will.

Shatter the CeilingThanks for reading my rant! I feel better now. 🙂

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39 comments on “The Double Standard

  1. Amen. Thank you for this. I too was shocked when I read some of the comments on the WSJ article when it was published. I don’t really get it – the tearing down of others just for the sake of doing it versus supporting each other. I think that all the negative comments just go to perpetuate the negative image and the sense that women and moms don’t deserve to take of themselves and aren’t worth it. Makes me angry!!
    Christine @ Love, Life, Surf recently posted..40 Days of JCOREMy Profile

  2. Sadly this is not the first I heard of this type of bashing. My friend Ashley had a similar experience when she did a blog interview about her ultrarunning, training, and being a mom. I commend each and every woman who effectively balances time between training and family. Many male runners could a lesson in time management/family obligations from these women.

  3. Always a double standard and I just don’t get it. I hate when people just judge women (especially mothers!) in that way. It’s the same in politics (my world right now b/c of job)…amazing how a woman can say/do something and it’s taken completely differently than if it was man!
    Ericka @ The Sweet Life recently posted..Tough Mudder: Break it Down!My Profile

  4. I really appreciate your post 🙂 I love the juxtaposition of the two articles. I honestly think that women can tend to have so much self-judgement that we often times misplace it onto other women. I think that in order to start supporting each other, we really need to start with supporting and loving ourselves. Then, we won’t get so jealous, saddened, angry, or triggered by another woman’s success or accomplishments. We will be more self-assured and confident that whatever we are doing is right for us, which will free us up from comparison and allow us to rejoice with others in their successes.
    Ali @ WHOLEistically Fit recently posted..My (Non-Organic, Non Grass-Fed) Beef With The Paleo DietMy Profile

  5. This is unbelievable, because maybe some women don’t believe in themselves or have the strength or willpower to take care of themselves they feel the need to put down other women . I want my daughter to be healthy and fit & to know its possible to be a mom and be healthy & fit, in this day and age we are equal & entitled to be whatever we want to be.

  6. Thanks for letting us know about the other article, and go on and rant all you want! I wasn’t really shocked just as others have said.

  7. As further example, Gabbi Douglas was given the MOST NEGATIVE comments from African American Women regarding her HAIR! First black female to win not ONE but TWO gold medals and she gets torn apart by women. Girlfriends- please! I always relate almost everything male vs female back to the primal- hence TEENAGE years. If a girl sleeps around she’s a “whore, slut, tramp”= If a guy sleeps around he’s a “stud, player, swinger.” And it isn’t the guys calling the girls sluts- they are just calling the “sluts” up to take them out to dinner! Ha ha ha! Bitches gotta eat 🙂 I kidd- but you get my point. Retract the claws!
    Drea @twomotivate recently posted..Grass Run & Cow FedMy Profile

  8. I wish we could somehow all understand that “my way is right for me and your way is right for you”. The fact that we parent differently does not have to mean that one is right and one is wrong! (except for cases of clear cut abuse or neglect, I think we can all agree on that) I promise not to bash someone’s choice to not work out if they promise not to bash my choice to do so. Or maybe… Leave out the IF. I promise not to bash other moms. Join me?
    Kristen@good’ngoodforya recently posted..Strength and Tabata on Saturday MorningMy Profile

  9. I think there is still a double standard. We get criticized for every hour we spend away from them, while men get praised for every hour they spend with them. Women are the default caretakers. We need to ask our husbands to watch the kids so we can do something without them –I hate it when a man says that he is “babysitting” for his own kids!
    Coco recently posted..Supernal SundayMy Profile

    1. Seriously! This makes me so mad whenever I hear a lady ask her husband to babysit the kids. They’re YOUR kids! It’s not babysitting if they belong to you! It’s doing what you’re supposed to do, as a parent.

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  11. I think sometimes women feel so much in competition with each other because of what society has made men out to be. We see portrayals in the media all the time of men who can’t control their desires or are just plain lazy. Not every man “checks out” every woman he sees on the street. Not every man struggles every day to not sleep with every attractive woman around him. They’re not knuckle-walkers who can’t control themselves, and it’s not our job to compete with other women to “keep them around.”

  12. You know…you hit the nail on the head about it being women vs. women. Here’s something scary…men are used to seeing us belittle each other. My husband joked with me for the longest time claiming I’m hiding that I’m really gay. Why? Because I compliment women. On everything. Clothes, eyes, figures, jobs, smiles, personalities, talent…I try very hard not to be yet another member of the “catty women club”.

    I think the problem lies in that women tend to become insecure very easily. We’re emotional creatures. Add that to the fact that most (if not all) of us have experienced the guilty feeling that comes with *paying attention to ourselves*. I wrote about how my sister felt it was SELFISH to have someone watch her two boys for an hour or two for gym time while her husband served in the Army overseas. (Hello? Selfish??!!??!!) When we’re feeling selfish (or we truly believe that is IS selfish) over putting ourselves first for a short time during the day, we tend to make other women feel the same way. It’s a huge double standard…it’s the same with sex. And business. And sports. I’m sure I could go on…
    Melissa @ Live, Love, & Run recently posted..#WeeklyChase: Mindful EatingMy Profile

    1. Exactly, Melissa! Well said. We all need to chill out on the mom-bashing and support each other. We’ve had entire social movements devoted to learning how to respect the rights of women, African Americans, and gays…next up: Moms!
      Kim recently posted..Day of DomesticityMy Profile

  13. This doesn’t surprise me but it angers me! Great write up, you make some excellent points here. Why can’t we just support each other instead of tearing each other down? It’s so frustrating, especially because it seems like things like this are so common, and change is so far away.
    Stephanie @itrainthereforeieat recently posted..Good Reads and Good NewsMy Profile

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