Stubborn Runner

Portsmouth #seenonmyrun | happyfitmama.com

Hey guys!

Hope you had a great weekend. It’s back to the daily grind as usual for me so I’m kind of dreading Monday. Vacation is so nice. If only I got paid to just be me.

Oh well…

If you follow me on Instagram or Facebook you probably already saw that my planned 20 miler for Saturday was a bust. A full out “This sucks. WTF am I doing?” type of run.

Friday night I wasn’t really sure if I should cut back my planned mileage or go for it. I was feeling much improved with my sinus infection but still congested a bit. I really didn’t want to put it off till next week. I had been prepping myself all week for the 20 miles. My mind was focused and set on that number.

The plan was for me to get 10 miles in before meeting up with Kailey and Mariette for the second half. I was running late so I didn’t get started as early as I’d hoped. As soon as I started running, I felt off. Of course, the first mile, two or even three kind of suck on almost any run. I tried telling myself that over and over. By mile 4 I felt like I was in a little bit of a better place. I ran a route that brought back marathon training memories from last Spring.

But then my mind started to go to the dark side. The side where all the negative thoughts in the world reside and feed off my confidence like a parasite.

By mile 7 I was looking for signs to tell me to stop.

Hmmmm…is that stop sign telling me to stop running?

Where was Sisu when I needed it?

By the time I met up with the girls I had got 8.5 miles in. For some reason I had two hot spots forming on each foot and I was tired. My stomach was also growling despite eating my usual long run fuel and taking in fuel at 5 miles. Every step felt like I was slogging through soft sand. I was hoping that having some company would revitalize me.

Unfortunately, it didn’t. There were multiple walk breaks taken. I crawled up hills. I just didn’t have it in me.

At mile 16ish I split off with the girls to head back to my car for more water. I really wanted to call it quits when I got to my car but my stubborn ways wouldn’t allow it. I was still fixated on 20. I thought I’d give it one last attempt to get the remaining 3.

Finally, at 18, I called it. Every time I tried to run my calves and hamstrings would cramp up in knots. Even stepping off a curb caused it.

I was not happy.

Didn’t I just run 20 miles with no problems a few weeks ago? What happened?

I then got mad at myself for being so stubborn. Why didn’t I stop earlier? What was I trying to prove?

It came down to pride.

My pride was too big to admit that I wasn’t up to running 20 miles.

Ummm…hello! You’re on antibiotics for a sinus infection!

If I wasn’t such a stubborn runner, the smart move would have been to do less miles this week and a 20 miler next weekend. But no. I had my mind set on 20 and I was getting there no. matter. what.

And then my body just laughed at me.

So lesson learned – check your pride at the door. There’s no shame in cutting a run short because it just doesn’t feel right.

It’s one run. Shake it off. Focus on the next run.

Are you a stubborn runner?

21 comments on “Stubborn Runner

  1. Uh Angela, I’m sorry. That really sucks but I’ve definitely been there. I like to think I’m less stubborn now then I was but, when I have a certain game-plan for my run, I usually try to stick to it no matter what. However, I’ve made some better decisions lately and you know what? My body has responded positively. Imagine that? hahaha
    You’ll be great this week. You’re body will be feeling better and you just need to shake off that last run! Onward!
    Allie recently posted..The Rundown – It’s OfficialMy Profile

  2. Been there, for sure. And here’s what: count that 18 down as a 20 and don’t look back. No trying to make it up. You will be absolutely, 100% fine on race day w/o those two miles. Your body was telling you something and you don’t want to dig a big hole. This week will be better!
    misszippy1 recently posted..Running latelyMy Profile

  3. Oh Angela, I am so sorry to hear that, but you are a rockstar for making it through 18 feeling that bad. and YES, you are on antibiotics and your body is all over the place, THAT is why you couldn’t do it.

    That being said, I am the most stubborn, and Steve even wrote me notes on my training plan for the month this time about being smart and listening to my body “I know you hate days off, but you need a down week” is on Tuesday. I felt these same feelings as you when I tried to run my 18 mile progression run a few weeks ago, this time a year ago I was able to run it 30 seconds faster per mile than I am now….why???? I am working on not comparing myself to last year, and listening to my body if it needs to backpedal, rather than forcing. My rewards paid off last week as my 20 miler felt much better. Hang in there, and give that body a break, it will bounce back :)
    Tina Muir recently posted..Racing as an Elite; Crim Festival of Races 10 Mile RecapMy Profile

  4. Aw man! Sounds awwwwful!!

    I haven’t had a run like that….but I have had a day like that. I have a bad feeling about something and want to do it anyway, but the whole time I am paranoid something bad is going to happen so I half heartedly do it and I end up not enjoying it at all haha.

    Life happens I guess?! At least you had a killer awesome goal–that’s crazy cool!
    Have a happy day!!
    Kirtley Freckleton@ The Gist of Fit recently posted..Challenge #9: Watch the glycemic indexMy Profile

  5. being sick can really, really take it out of you. i tried to run a marathon with bronchiolitis once and it was an absolutely terrible decision — i mean, i spent the entire week on the couch too sick to do anything and then i tried to run 26.2 miles. how stupid is that? gosh darn being stubborn.
    kristin recently posted..FROM THE WEEKEND: HERMIT CRABS + TREE SWINGSMy Profile

  6. It sounds like you might have been a little dehydrated before you even started. Combine that with antibiotics, not to mention the sinus infection itself, and, well, you know.

    Runs like these, while they suck, help with the mental part of running. You can argue as to whether you should have cut it short, or pushed through and everyone will have a different opinion, but I think you did just what you should. You pushed through, overcame your difficulties, and got most of the run done. I’m a stubborn runner myself (though a little less as I’ve gotten older :-) ), so I get it. Good job!
    Debbie @ Live from La Quinta recently posted..Unemployed, the First Month. Plus the Week in PicturesMy Profile

  7. I think so many runners are stubborn and push ourselves when we shouldn’t – as in we don’t listen to our bodies enough because obviously runners are superheros. In other words, yup been there. I’ve learned a little since experiencing this. Example, I did not run at all this weekend. My Friday run was pretty terrible (only 4 miles at that) I contemplated doing my long run on Saturday still even though my whole 4 mile run was semi painful. I even asked my husband and fellow runner for advice. He said, if it was him he’d just suffer through the long run but the better idea was probably to rest and stretch as we have a 15k coming up this weekend. I thought about being that stubborn runner – even made it out the door but once I got to the end of the road I decided to stop, go back home, stretch and roll (and repeated on Sunday).

    You live, learn, regret, ..but hey – you’re built some mental endurance right? Maybe?

  8. Oh, yes! I can relate to this! Why do we do things like this? Us runners are surely a stubborn bunch. But lesson learned! You’ll get more from resting and cutting it short than pushing through when your body is yelling at you to rest. The next long run will taste that much sweeter. Rest up! I hope you’re feeling back to 100% health ASAP!
    Amanda@Runninghood recently posted..Running Lately and Hood To Coast 2014My Profile

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