Not the Boston Marathon Recap I Wanted

Boston Marathon Boot  happyfitmama.com

Say hello to my little friend.

Prior to the afternoon of April 20th, this was going to be a Boston Marathon recap full of excitement, celebration and tears of joy.

Rather, I have no race recap but lots of tears.

At mile 6, one of my worst fears came true. I got intense ankle pain out of nowhere. It wasn’t an ache. It was radiating pain that went down into the arch/beginning of my heel. I tried to walk it off. I tried to stretch it out. It wasn’t going anywhere and just got worse with every step.

At mile 8, as much as I wanted to keep going, I knew my race was over.

I’m disappointed. I’m angry. I’m sad. I feel bad for having my family make the trip to watch a race in the freezing cold, pouring rain and then not even get the chance to see me run by.

I’m f*cking pissed off. You know what also pisses me off? When I’m trying to write f*cking in a text and it auto corrects to ducking. Really?

Why on this day? At this race? At this time?

Why?

I’m distancing myself from social media for a bit. While I’m so extremely happy for everyone who had an amazing race, it hurts way too much to see it. I need some time to wallow in my grief of what was supposed to be my “IT” race of the year. I had huge expectations for it and to see those expectations disintegrate within minutes, is quite painful. Yes, I know it could have been worse. Yes, I know I have a lot to be thankful for. Yes, I know it’s only running.

But it meant a lot to me.

Thank you for all the kind emails, texts, tweets and Instagram messages. I truly appreciate the concern. I just need some time to lick my wounds.

49 comments on “Not the Boston Marathon Recap I Wanted

  1. I know it’s a lot more than just running, we put all of ourselves into marathons and this was a huge one. There’s a lot of grieving that has to happen, I get that. I’ve been thinking of you since I tracked and saw you had to stop and I’m glad it’s nothing more than an ankle, as crappy as the situation is.

  2. I would feel exactly the same way. Take all the time you need and we will be here when you’re ready. I’m so sorry this happened to you and it’s completely *ducking* unfair!
    Allie recently posted..Race Ready WorkoutsMy Profile

  3. I am so sorry and saddened to read this. Take all the time you need to grieve, swear and be pissed at things – I can’t imagine what you’re going through… especially after putting everything “out there” in the land of Instagram, websites, Facebook. I wish I had some words to make you feel better but all I can say is that this certainly happens and you are still a huge inspiration to me and many others. I know you will come back stronger from this. Hang in there, thinking about you xo
    Amy @ The Little Honey Bee recently posted..Boston & the 2015 Boston MarathonMy Profile

  4. First off, I’m thankful that you’re okay. I was so worried when it became apparent that you didn’t finish. I knew it had to be something serious.

    I’m so sorry that you’re going through this. Of course it’s more than just running. Any marathon is, and this was Boston, the biggest of them all. You trained so hard for so long.

    Take your time to grieve and to heal then you’ll be ready to come back even better than before.. I have been in your shoes before so I know it’s going to happen.

    In the meantime, wallow on.
    Debbie recently posted..Race Day Tips for a Successful MarathonMy Profile

  5. Oh Angela, I am so so sorry to see this. It is so disappointing to have this happen after all that great training. I know that this is going to haunt you for a while, I also know that you will be back and that you will redeem yourself by running this again. I haven’t publicized my goal but I’m hoping to run Boston in 2017. Maybe we’ll be there together…
    Wendy@Taking the Long Way Home recently posted..RewardingMy Profile

  6. I am really just so sorry this happened, Angela. You have every reason to be pissed off and to yell, scream, cry until you start to feel better. No one blames you in the least. I’d probably take that social media break, too. All understandable.

    I wish there was something I could do to help, but for now, know that I’m thinking of you and sending you all my best.
    misszippy recently posted..Two half marathons/one week apartMy Profile

  7. I am so very, very sorry. You should be pissed and we totally understand if you need to step away. I was so worried when I saw the other post about you being in the med tent. Will be thinking and praying for you.

  8. Ugh, I’m so sorry that happened, Angela. Was it a fracture? I can imagine the disappointment you feel — I know I would feel the same way and be fucking pissed off!! Especially if I travelled just to run that race. In time you will look back and there will be something to learn from this experience as there always is when shittiness happens. But for now, it’s totally okay to be pissed off. So sorry :(
    Bri recently posted..Recipe: Matcha green tea chia seed protein puddingMy Profile

  9. Oh, Angela, I am so, so sorry to hear this. You have been on my heart and mind all weekend. Reading your post I started to cry and ache for you. I would feel the exact same. Take all the time you need, feel all that you need to feel, do what you need to do to take care of you. I know how significant this race was to you. I am sending hugs and love to you, friend. You are strong and so incredibly inspiring, and I know you’re going to be back on that race course, running the race you’ve imagined. It is going to be OK. It’s going to get better.
    Michigan Runner Girl recently posted..Running Gazelle Girl this weekend? Be sure to meet the MRG ambassadors!My Profile

  10. I’m so sorry… I’d curse too…
    Take care of yourself…
    I wont even try to say anything uplifting… I know I’d just want to sit & stew for a bit… but remember its all a learning thing.
    Dang it – I just said something uplifting. Sorry.

  11. Oh Angela, I saw your post yesterday. I feel like everyone really has said it all. I hate more than anything to see you in that dreaded boot. Be pissed off, cry, yell and scream. Let it all out! Take a step back from SM right now and just let yourself be. Do know I’m thinking about you as are so many others! I’ll send happy vibes and pep talks when you’re ready 😉

  12. It is so much more than running…and we all know that…we have watched all the work you have put in…lick away Angela because it ducking sucks!!!! Sending big huge hugs your way!!

  13. Oh Angela, I am so sorry that this happened to you! I feel your pain in some sense, having been injured a few times just *before* big races. I am sure you’ll cross the Boston finish line one way or another sometime soon! :-)
    Sarah recently posted..Workout Recaps + VertigoMy Profile

  14. Oh no! Hugs! What happened?!? Stress fracture? Ruptured achilles? Injuries royally effing suck. Two years ago I trained my butt off for Ragnar So Cal. I was too aggressive with my training and went into it with mild ankle pain but nothing crazy. I had the legs with the most total miles – 26 and with each leg my ankle pain got worse. By my third leg (10 miles) I could barely walk on my ankle. I sucked it up and hobbled the 10 miles as best I could. After my leg I could no longer walk and was an angry, hungry, tired mess. I then misplaced my passport and got into a huge fight with a friend. That friend hasn’t spoken to me since, and I ended up not able to run for 6 weeks. When I got home I went to have it checked out – I had a really bad case of peroneal tendonitis (I couldn’t get it checked in the US bc I didn’t have travel medical insurance). I know the disappointment you are feeling because I felt the similar anger and disappointment for getting injured at an event I had trained for, saved my money to go to , and anxiously waited for for 6 months. It was awful! Big big hugs. My heart aches for you and I hope your ankle heals soon!

  15. I’m so sorry!! I hope that you have screamed and cussed and hit things (normally I would say kick but that might be a bad idea) to get all that mad out. And then tears:(
    I know that no words will help right now but I hope that you feel the support from so many people right now!!!
    Kim recently posted..Too Many Rewards?My Profile

  16. You know what, I actually think that having enough self awareness to get to that med tent and stop is very admirable in itself. I’m sure a lot of people would have kept pushing themselves to perhaps irreparable injury and you didn’t. You ran to be able to run another day. I have absolute faith that you’ll get back to Boston and own that marathon. I’ve followed your blog too long to have any doubts, girl.
    Rachel B formerly of Busy Mama Fitness recently posted..What Happened to Busy Mama Fitness?My Profile

  17. Angela, I haven’t commented on your blog, but when I saw this, I had to leave you a note.
    I am so, so sorry that this happened to you!!! When I read it, I really felt your pain.
    You WILL get through this and I think it is healthy and normal to grieve, be angry and cry. It does suck and we all know it is so much more than JUST RUNNING.
    So much more…
    I was supposed to be at Boston this year and have been battling a severe injury and now surgery for months. It is really hard, aandI’ll be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers for fast healing.
    Take all the time that you need, your blog and followers will still be here waiting to support you when you are ready. xx
    Natalie recently posted..Friday Favorites!My Profile

  18. You have every right to be furious at this! I’m so sorry to hear that this happened to you. As much as it sucks, it is moments like this that make us stronger — as runners and as people. You will get your redemption race at Boston and you will knock it out of the park. Til then, give your body the recovery time it needs. We’re all pulling for you! xoxo
    Lora @ Crazy Running Girl recently posted..Friday Five: 5 blogs to readMy Profile

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