As part of the ongoing Under Armour What’s Beautiful campaign with FitFluential, I declared a few of my running goals last month. The big one, run my first marathon sub 4 hours, was not achieved last week. I’ve been dealing with self-loathing, defeat, feeling like a failure, disappointment, anger…
I got served a big piece of humble pie. Have I told you before I don’t like pie?
Why am I so angry with myself? I finished that beast with less than stellar conditions and obstacles but I still didn’t think it was good enough. I feel like a little whiny baby. Why can’t I be happy?
Truthfully, it’s because I didn’t run my own race. I’ve been comparing myself to others.
If X person can run in XX time, I know I could beat that.
It’s tough when all you see on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, etc is the good. I’m not knocking it – I do it too. But you come to expect that every run, every workout, every single day, is going to be rainbows and unicorns. That’s just not reality.
Since the race, not one person has asked me what my finishing time was. Not one. I’m the one who is hung up on it.
I’m still not completely OK with how things went down. But I’m getting there. Reading stories like Bret Dunlap’s in Runner’s World last month makes me put things into perspective.
Be grateful for what you CAN do.
I’m not done chasing my marathon dream. Just because sometimes you won’t doesn’t mean you can’t. For right now though, I’m moving on. It’s time to concentrate on my other goals. I need something to give me a little bit more pep in my running step.
Goal: Run my first ever 5k in real life
I jumped right up to half marathons and bypassed all shorter distance races. What can I say, I wanted my money’s worth! This summer I’m plan on running my first 5k. Laura’s 5 by the 5th Virtual Race series has me interested in seeing what I can do off the treadmill. There are no shortages of 5k races in my area this time of year. My plan is to ease back into running next week and then pick a race date based on how my foot is feeling.
Goal: Run a trail race
Now that the marathon is over, I want to mix it up with trail running. One thing that interests me in trail running is the idea of listening more to my body and less on my watch. Obviously, something that I need to work on. I plan to leave my Garmin at home and just run. I’m hoping to get out on the trails within the next month and then decide a race.
Hopefully, concentrating on these new goals will give me what I’m looking for right now.
FYI – today is National Running Day! What are you doing to celebrate?
Do you get wrapped up in the comparison trap sometimes?
What goals are you chasing?