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Running, Rolling and Not Racing

Post run stretch | happyfitmama.com

Well hello there!

I hope you all had a lovely weekend and if you are in the States, a fantastic 4th. We had a great time of enjoying The Jungle Book, hanging out with friends, hiking, the beach and an amazing weekend of absolutely gorgeous weather.

I decided to take a little blogging vacation. It’s the first time in 4.5 years of writing this blog that I have gone 4 days without posting. In years past, I would never allow myself to do that. I would be freaking out that I was losing readers or that I wasn’t keeping up with the “other” bloggers. But you know what? It felt great to not have to jump on the computer to get a post out. Plus, it’s summer – It’s meant to be savored and enjoyed! The good news is that I was excited to get back to it today. I missed you guys!

So let’s catch up a bit. Specifically about running.

Mt. Washington was 2.5 weeks ago. My foot felt good for the whole race. The week afterwards, I kept my running easy with less mileage and ran “naked”. My foot wasn’t feeling entirely good on those runs. Not horrible but not right either. In fact, it felt like my posterior tib tendon was tight and not as happy as it should be. I tweaked it when I rolled my ankle the week before Washington.

Trail running | happyfitmama.com

Then last week, my chiropractor adjusted my foot and it felt a ton better. I also had a massage and Jess seemed to think the tendon seemed tight but OK. She was more concerned that my calf/shin felt “shifted” to the side of where they were supposed to be. I took a couple days off from running to let things rest. However, we went hiking on Sunday. I never actually rolled my ankle but at some point the posterior tib started to get angry with me. If my foot rolled externally off a rock, I’d get pain. It wasn’t all the time, just on occasion. I’m beginning to think that hiking with my kids should be avoided at all costs. I seem to hurt things during every outing!

Since then I’ve been icing, rolling, stretching, swathed in KT tape and soaking my foot in Epsom salts.

I’ve also been a hypochondriac Googling anything I can about posterior tib issues. I even had myself convinced that I’m doomed for surgery. Thanks Dr. Google!

Morning run along the Maine Coast. | happyfitmama.com

The good news is that I ran yesterday morning with no pain at all. It even felt good afterwards. It must have been because I had wonderful company along the Maine shore. It was my first time meeting Sue. If there’s one thing that I can say about social media and blogging is that it’s allowed me to meet some fantastic people from all over. Remember when it was a scary thing to meet people on the internet? Would they be a psycho killer? Lol.

My plan is to lay off running this week to let the tendon rest. My bigger plan for running is still a big question mark. I had thought about doing a full marathon in the Fall but now that’s not going to happen. My heart just isn’t into full training right now. Long runs of 16, 18 or 20 miles have zero appeal. Besides, it would be foolish to jump into training when my foot is feeling wonky. I do have a half at the end of September so maybe I’ll make that my goal race for the fall.

Until then, I’ll keep plugging along, working this foot back into shape!

Linking up with Thinking Out Loud!

How’s your running?

Meeting blogging/social media friends in person – yay or nay?

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Lately

What's been going on Lately. | happyfitmama.com

It’s time for another edition of Lately.

Lately…I’ve been riding the roller coaster of running emotions. Last week at this time I would have said I felt good about Mt. Washington. It was going to kick my ass but I was going to give it my all. And then the ankle roll/sprain thing happened. The good news is that I’m quite confident that I will have no problem with it on Saturday. The bad news is that my confidence has been shaken and stirred. Maybe because I haven’t run in 6 days. I know my body knows what to do. It’s my mind that I need to get back in the game!

Lately…I’ve been hesitant to commit to a marathon for the fall. I was all ready to go for a late October race until last week. Like I said, confidence shaken and stirred. And not in a good way like a martini. Will I be jinxing myself for another long term injury if I jump into marathon training? Gah. Why do injuries mess with my mind so much?!

Lately…I do have a half marathon to look forward to in the fall. I’m attending Rise.Run.Retreat again this year. How could I not after such an amazing time last year? This year we are headed to Vermont. Applications are being accepted until 6/20 – did you apply?

Momentum Jewelery | hapypfitmama.com

Lately…I have not been loving the wind. Why oh why is it so windy for the past week? And did you know there was snow and hurricane force winds at the summit of Mt. Washington over the weekend? Let’s just hope things die down asap.

Lately…I’m itching to run.

Lately…I’ve been bored with yoga. That is unless it’s at sunrise on the top of a mountain. Lol. I said the same thing last month. I had hoped for a teacher change with the new schedule that came out this month but no such luck. I went to class yesterday and was just going through the motions. Blah. Blah. Blah. I’m trying a new to me yoga studio on Thursday. I need to change it up!

Sunrise yoga Lately. | happyfitmama.com

Lately…I can’t believe my kids will be 6 years old next week. They were just born yesterday!

Lately…I’m excited for our upcoming camping trip on the Cape! Please pray that it does NOT rain when we are there.

Lately…I’m kind of excited yet sad about this summer. Initially when we were looking for a day camp for my kid’s to attend, it was only for Monday, Wednesday and Friday since those are the days I work at the hospital. However, the camp we ended up going with is Monday through Friday. You know what that means? My Tuesday/Thursday schedule stays the same. Woohoo! I’m bummed that we won’t be hanging out twice a week like the old days but I think they would drive me nuts after two weeks. Of course, I can always keep them home every now and then so we can have a fun date day together.

Lately…I can’t believe that I graduated from high school 20 years ago. Damn. I remember when my parents had their 20 year high school reunion and I thought they were older than dirt. It’s funny how the perspective of “old” changes as you age. Now I don’t think “old” is until you hit 70.

Lately…I’m afraid even more of what’s happening to the world. Why is there so much hatred? Why is there so much violence? Why does disagreeing with someone mean that you need to attack? There are good people in the world. Why do the bad get all the attention?

Thanks for letting me do some Thinking Out Loud today.

What’s been going on with you lately?

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Boston

Boston Marathon Finish LIne | happyfitmama.com

One year ago I toed the line of the Boston Marathon for the first time.

The whole weekend leading up to the race was electric. I was riding a runner’s high despite having some serious taper crazies. The expo. The meeting of long time friends for the first time in person. The history. The symbolism.

I was running the Boston Marathon. Holy sh!t.

It was more than I could ever have imagined it would be like.

And then all the excitement and energy came crashing down a mere 8 miles into the race of a lifetime. Even though it’s been a year, I still remember every single event of that day. From trying to run off the pain. To painfully making the decision to walk off the course to a med tent. Riding the most somber ride of my life with all of the others who were getting a big fat DNF that day. To aimlessly searching for my family in a haze. And then hanging out with the transit police for what seemed like hours until we reconnected.

You would think after a year, the hurt, anger and frustration would fade. It has to some degree. I’m much better than I was 6 months ago.  I’m so thankful to be up and running! I can’t even begin to imagine what I would be like if I was not. But I’m not going to lie. Seeing my Facebook or Instagram feed filled with Boston training posts for the past 4 months has been hard. Really hard. And then this weekend, it escalated. My social media feed was flooded with everything Boston. Of course, it would be because almost everyone I follow is a runner. I stayed off Insta for most of the day on Saturday. I didn’t want to see it.

While I am so extremely happy for those who are running, I’m flat out jealous. I want to be back to where I was a year ago before Marathon Monday. I want to feel that joy, the strength and the excitement.

Team Stonyfield Boston Marathon outfit | happyfitmama.com

Immediately after getting injured, I had a plan in my head. I wanted victory. I wanted another chance. I wanted redemption. I wanted to get a BQ so I’d be able to run again in 2016. Of course, when you are unable to run for 6+ months after April, that dream is not even an option. And now I’m at a point where I’m questioning if I have a marathon in me anymore. My body seems to be doing odd things lately. Can it handle another round of hard training? I’m not sure but I’m also sure that I still want redemption.

Sunday morning during savasana in yoga class, our teacher told us to lay our left hand over our heart and cover it with our right hand. In doing so, she told us to forgive ourselves. Forgive. A light bulb went off in my head. I need to forgive myself for what happened a year ago. I’ve been holding on anger towards my body.  My body failed me when I needed it to be strong. Why me? Why during the race? Why???

That simple word – forgive – flipped the switch. I felt at ease. I don’t know why it took so long for it to register. Maybe because Boston was front and center on my mind yesterday. Maybe because I was finally ready to accept and forgive.

By Sunday evening, I could face social media. I wanted to see what was going on. I wanted to see the happiness in every single post. I wanted to see the celebration. Seeing all of it made me happy. Happy for all of the runners who worked their ass off to get there. Happy to be a part of such an amazing running community. And hopeful. Hopeful that I will be back to the greatest celebration of running again.

I can’t wait for my phone to be giving me updates all day as I track all of my friends running. Best of luck to – Sarah, Sandra, Mairead – Go TEAM STONYFIELD!, Kim, Becca, Heather, Chris, Michele, Nat, Laura, Sarah and Jess. I’ll be screaming for you louder than the girls at Wellesley!

To all the runners – This is your day. Run strong. Run proud. Enjoy every single step on Marvelous Marathon Monday.