A Letter to My Body: I’m Sorry

This past week I’ve seen quite a few posts from some of my favorite bloggers ( Lisa, Christine and Sarah) who wrote letters of apology to their bodies. Each of them were beautifully written and made me start to think about my own body and how I’ve treated it through the years. Body image has always been a fault of mine. I’m my own worst critic. I’m better than I was in my teens and 20s but I still catch myself seeing more flaws than strengths. Body image is especially something that I’m more aware of now that I have a daughter. I don’t want her to ever hear me say “I’m fat” or “I’m so ugly” just as much as I never want her to say those words.

I wasn’t even thinking of writing a post of my own until I was in yoga class. My teacher kept repeating, “You are stronger than you think” throughout the class as we held tough poses. I’ve heard this saying many, many times but for some reason that night I had an AHA! moment. I AM stronger than I think. My body has done so much for me but all I see is the negative.Β  I needed to write an apology letter to my body to say I’m sorry.

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Dear Body,

I am so sorry for the way I have treated you through the years. I never thought you were good enough. There was always something that wasn’t perfect. Your legs were too big and muscular when all the other girls had toothpick legs. Arms too flabby. Nose too ethnic and large. Torso too short. Belly not flat enough. Imperfect skin and hair.

I am sorry for the horrible ways I tried to “fix” you. Baking in the sun with baby oil and no sunblock. Putting harsh chemicals on your skin to make it “better.” Frying your hair with so many different colors to try to lighten and then darken it. I inked you with a tattoo just because. I tried to nourish you with junk food thinking that was good enough. I drank way too much and smoked certain things that did nothing to brighten your soul.

I am sorry that I yelled at you after miscarrying a baby and taking longer than expected to get pregnant again. You made me question your strength when there was a possibility my babies would be born too early.

I am sorry I thought you were a failure for getting injured and preventing me from running a marathon. So many others can do it, why can’t you? Belittling you because I wasn’t faster and more agile.

For the most part, you have done what I have asked yet I only focus on the failure.

You’ve always spoken up but I didn’t want to listen.

I’m listening now. You are one of the most precious gifts I have. I only get one of you so it’s time to really appreciate who you are and what you can do. You’ve got me through (almost) 35 years. I want to see at least 35 more. Let’s work together as a team from now on. I’ll be your biggest supporter.

You are more than an appearance. Never ever forget, you are stronger than you think.

Thank you and I love you just the way you are,

Angela

I realize this is a little heavy for a Friday but I wanted to let it out. This letter was very emotional for me to write. I found myself tearing up at times. It was hard to put out into the universe since I don’t usually open up that much here. But don’t worry. I’ll return to my normal ramblings next week. πŸ˜‰

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49 comments on “A Letter to My Body: I’m Sorry

  1. What a great, brave and inspirational post, thank you so much for sharing. I think most people – especially women – have moments where they haven’t respected or been kind to their body. Learning to tune in and listen is so crucial (says the girl who ended up being an idiot and trying to run through three injuries and not enough fuel). I like to think I’ve learned a lot about trusting my body – it is remarkably smart!
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  2. This is beautiful. I’ve been very careful to not dwell on my body’s flaws in front of my girls because I want them to believe that they are beautiful just the way they are. A few weeks ago my 5 year old said to me, “When I grow up, I want to be just as beautiful as you, Mom.” Yep, I cried. πŸ˜‰
    Jamie @ Rise.Run.Mom.Repeat. recently posted..Cathe XTrain ReviewMy Profile

  3. You are stronger than you think for being able to open up to yourself and your readers, but also acknowledge that although you might not be proud of what you did to your body in the past (and who is?) YOU are appreciating yourself NOW!

    HappySTRONGMama today πŸ˜‰
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  4. This was such a great post–could relate on many levels. I think the takeaway is that we all do dumb things to our bodies in our youth and learn to be gentler as we age. You’re clearly on that track and have a great handle on it today!
    misszippy1 recently posted..Sunglasses giveaway!My Profile

    1. Ah, youth! We think we know so much when we are young but if we did know everything would we still do anything different? Probably not. I know I would have done the same stupid things! :)

  5. Great post. I can relate to a lot of the similar issues growing up. As a skinny kid (even a skinny adult) it’s amazing how cruel we can be to ourselves and even how callous our peers and adults can be. Running has taught me that it’s not what’s on the outside but what’s on the inside that counts. Thanks for sharing, very inspirational.

  6. These letter are cleansing and can be healing, so grateful you shared something so intimate and personal with us, that takes courage and I feel it is a gift to us readers, so thank you Angela. You’re beautiful!

  7. This is an amazing post Angela and I’m so glad that you shared it. Reading each of these letters and hearing many of my own thoughts echoed in others words has been so inspirational and so supportive. You ARE stronger than you think. We just have to get out of our own way sometimes. Now we’re older and wiser, right? πŸ˜‰
    Christine @ Love, Life, Surf recently posted..Friday Round-Up: Life Lessons and FGOs*My Profile

  8. This was so beautifully written and left me with such a huge grin on my face. I was so mad at my body when I was going through infertility – it was like I literally separated myself from it because I as so angry. Like you, I’ve come full-circle now and fully love and appreciate my body.
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  9. Wow, this is a great idea and I should do this too. I believe we take our body’s for granted all the time. I’ve been working on being excited for exercise and eating well. I have book marked this so I can read again when I need inspiration.

    1. Let me know if you do! I do feel like I’ve become more in tuned with my body over the past few years. It’s an ongoing process but definitely better than when I was a teen. Age will do that to you!

  10. So many important things in this post! Thank you for sharing the reminder that we should love, respect and treasure our bodies!
    Such a heart-felt post!!
    You do have an awesome body (and so do I)!
    Kim recently posted..Fun Friday for Sure!!!My Profile

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